Saturday, 19 June 2010

The calm after the storm

Amazing what some real sleep and a day to oneself can do for the soul. I doing very little actually and that was ok.  I left guilt behind me.
My DH had a pleasant time with his daughters. Mind you he was so happy to be home as I was to have him home.  It was an unpleasant situation however solutions have been found and I am saying I need a break before it is too much.  Breaks my heart to feel it is all to much at times.

My DH made a decision yesterday and said that this weekend we would be at home and have no visitors.  It was an quite strange when he said this as it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.  I was girding up my mind and body for more visitors.  Please  do not get me wrong I like visitors and we do enjoy them.  It is just that it seems to have been non stop for months now.  This no visitors included family.  He tells me not to feel  guilty about us wanting our own time, to be together for a weekend with no one coming.  So I laughingly said I would drive the car to the end of the drive pop a sign on it and leave it there for the weekend.  He said lets do it.  So here it is..  
 I added quickly an amendment that all was okay though.

We have had a lovely week with some lovely suprises. The bench that DH had begun to build for me but sadly not able to finish, arrived home, and we spent a pleasant 40mins together oiling it to protect it for the rain that was forecast for later in the evening.  We were rushing as it was so gray, but we made it and the oil even dried mostly.

The beautiful timber is a local one called Huon Pine.  It is a extremely slow growing timber and there sadly is not a lot of trees remaining.  He also has made me a coffee table and side table.

Two hens are now moulting and my egg count is down to 1 or less a day.  So I guess with a 50% reduction in the work crew the other two are doing their best.

We have been having rain which has been very needed.  Full rain tanks.

Daphne is getting ready to bloom, and a friend had jonquils in her garden this week.  We walked through the garden this afternoon in a short sunny break.  As we walked through our Wattle tree arbour we were noticing all the blossoms developing, and all of a sudden in the sunlight we noted the fluffy blossoms of one ahead.  As we approached I asked DH if he could smell the sweet smell that was coming on the breeze and sunshine?  Surprisingly he could the warmth of the brief sunny break warmed the perfume..bliss.

 Sun on fallen timber

Lichen growing on a dead tree in the sunshine
all in all a lovely memorable short walk about our garden with my love today.  This is what living is about to me.  Being able to stop, stand still looking at all we have and feeling rich and so very fortunate to live where we do.  Knowing that our journey is as magic as the amazing things we have around us that nature provides, and we have harnessed.  Having someone to have such times with and love, simple pleasures, mean so much.

Monday, 14 June 2010

A little time on my own

It is so difficult to admit sometimes that you are just not handling things.  Not coping.  I had told people about me when they asked how I was "not coping very well", my response.  I never asked for help I could not.  I felt that if I did need help I was failing my DH.

  It all went belly up on Saturday and eventually his daughters came and my DH has been away overnight and will be away for today and tonight.  I pick him up for an appointment and we will come home. 
I miss him, he is missing me. 
I just needed to have some sleep, some time to think about nothing else, no one.

But this does not happen.  Even though I slept really well undisturbed sleep so rejuvenating, I have been anxious about how my DH is going.  He is with his daughters who love him dearly, but it is in a strange home, strange bed, expectations are different, he can not sit inside and smoke his pipe.  He is not entirely happy but will stay as he knows how much I need this short break. 

When the girls came to pick him up, I did not want him to go.  I cried and sobbed, in the end he decided it was important for me.  Me time.
I can not say how much I love this man.  How even though I know it is okay for me to have time, how guilty I feel.  For failing him. 
I needed to fall apart, loose the plot before I screamed out for help.
Not the best way to do things.  I hate loosing control, I hate failing at the important things in life.
I know that I have not failed I really do know this.  The feeling at the time is what stops me from asking for help. 
Perhaps in future I can ask for help. 

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

It is the first of June and I have cherry blossoms?

Sounds normal for this time of year, but hey I live in the Southern Hemisphere!  It is just the tip of one stem, but there were some blossoms on the branch.     

I picked a lovely bunch of flowers today, wall flowers, wattle,
pineapple sage,

red saliva, purple one and
lovely daisies, white and yellow centered one of my favourite flowers. 
  This does not look that much like a winter garden with wattles flowering.
It was the first day of WINTER down under and we are down under down under!  I know it has been a mild Autumn, this proves it.  Bulbs are already up and I even have some broad beans flowering.  I am still getting tomatoes of a bush that is protected by a very large red flowering geranium, which is again protected on two sides by the    house.    

My capsicum plant has 3 tiny capsicums on it but it is the 1st day(well now its the 8th) of WINTER!   What is going on? They are still hanging in there, and are slightly bigger now.

Perhaps my garden is picking up on my desire to be planting out and producing food, oh why does my body feel it is springtime here not winter..only 12 weeks till Spring (well another 4 or so for us to really be in spring).                      
  Cabbage with borage flowers still flowering.
I still have peas to get into the garden.  Sweet peas, I want to plant heaps of them this year, they are so pretty and scented.  Lots of green peas, and snow peas, sugar snaps...yummo.

Okay it is official in the local newspaper today, a small article saying that the Royal Botanical Gardens of Hobart were also experiencing plants flowering and new growth throughout Autumn of plants that normally do not do this.  Just glad to know it is not just my little patch that is out of whack.
Climate change is certainly present in my garden right now.